


Pros and Cons of a Cuddly Boyfriend

by zzzzzzzo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzzzzzzo/pseuds/zzzzzzzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contrary to popular belief, Karkat could actually be quite cuddly. This was not, however, always a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pros and Cons of a Cuddly Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this ended up a bit longer than I thought it would. Welp. Anyway though, there are some people who have helped me out with this I gotta thank. First, [Ren.](http://turntechgodoka.tumblr.com/) She thought of the absolutely brilliant and adorable title. Gosh, it's so great for this story. Thanks so so much! Also [this lovely fellow](http://caoanonymousgoa.tumblr.com/). They gave me the idea to have John open the window and have Karkat get all annoyed about it. That is hilarious and adorable and I am so glad they recommended it to me. It probably made this fic at least twenty percent cooler. Finally, [the Karkat Insults Generator.](http://www.generatorland.com/usergenerator.aspx?id=3970) I guess this isn't exactly a person to thank, but it helped me out and is also just tons of fun to look at for a good time. So, thanks to all those lovely people and things! Also, I don't have a beta, so if there are any mistakes or things you think I could improve on, please tell me! Don't be shy, I don't bite... unless you want me to, hehe.
> 
> Enough of me though, now for the shameless, shameless fluff.

John had been dating Karkat for a long time now. In this time he had learned a lot about the troll; little insignificant things things he would never know if they were still just friendleader-partner-pals. They were small details, nothing noteworthy, but John treasured them nonetheless. It was weird! It was like he was addicted to anything and everything Karkat, from the troll's sweet tooth to how he smiled all scrunchy-eyed with one side of his mouth to how he couldn't draw a straight line to save his life to how gum got stuck in his pointy teeth but he loved it anyway to how his laughs were always more of a wheezy breath than anything, and more, more, more.... John was so smitten, he just loved collecting Karkat fun facts, tucked them away in his mind and treasured them and fell in love even more with each. Yet still, no matter how many tiny tidbits he learned, it never seemed like enough. He could never get enough Karkat.

One of said factoids that he had learned was that Karkat was a clingy sleeper. Not like the troll did it on purpose; his pride would never allow that. Throughout the night, when he was asleep, Karkat sort of gravitated towards the nearest warmth, coiled himself around it and clung and basically snuggled the shit out of it.

Nowadays, that warmth tended to be John.

Don't get him wrong, it was really nice! There was probably nothing better than waking up wrapped in a heavy bundle of cuddly troll. It was like his own personal, and adorable, furnace. This definitely made up for Karkat hogging all the blankets and cocooning himself in them, since John got the best source of warmth in the end.

In summer, however, it wasn't all that pleasant. In fact, it was sort of really, really gross. Waking up soaked with sweat and stinking, a lump of troll and blankets (Karkat still used them in the summer, some weird troll thing of being wrapped up and enclosed) sprawled across his chest was... unpleasant, to say the least.

John blinked awake, grimacing as the comfortable haze of sleep faded in favor of stifling heat. Ugh. He brushed his soaked bangs off his forehead, yawning. When he started to sit up, anticipating a cold shower soon to come, he found himself stopped by a weight on his chest. John frowned down at the troll clutching him, a bit of drool dripping from his mouth onto John's chest, and weighed his options.

He couldn't just shove Karkat away, maybe knocking him off the bed for the sake of Prankster's Gambit. John had tried that before, once, early in their relationship. He had not made that mistake twice. He wouldn't have even if Karkat hadn't explained the taboo of waking trolls abruptly, or even at all. Karkat had had one of his rare moments of not yelling then. He had spoken in a low voice, puffy red eyes lowered as he tended to John's injuries.

So yeah, anything that risked waking Karkat was out.

Then again, the thought of laying in a puddle of his own sweat was also unappealing.

He decided, after much deliberation, to try to disentangle himself, but veeeeeeeery carefully. If Karkat stirred even the teeniest bit, that was it, game over, he could just live with it and slowly melt into a puddle of John and regrets.

Slowly, lightly guiding the dead weight off of him, John extracted himself from Karkat's embrace. He could feel his face splitting into a triumphant grin as he freed himself of his last burden, standing proudly beside the bed.

“Hell fucking yes,” he proclaimed in a whisper, glancing at the sleeping troll that had once imprisoned him. _Aww._ Karkat was lying on his stomach, cheek smushed against the mattress, butt sticking up in the air from how he was positioned. John lingered a moment to look at it, because his boyfriend had a very nice ass, okay? Seriously, it was unreal.

John reached out and gave it a playful squeeze, gentle enough to not send Karkat into a very awake rage. The Cancer squirmed, letting out an incoherent whining noise as he flattened out on the bed defensively. Karkat snuggled closer to John's pillow, his new source of warmth apparently. So. Fucking. Cute.

The troll's lids flickered to half mast, eyes sleepy and unfocused. He gazed about in confusion. John stepped closer and leaned in so he was almost nose to nose with his boyfriend.

“Hey, buddy. Good morning.” He spoke softly, and kissed Karkat on the nose. The troll blinked at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, clumsy and pretty and innocent, before leaning in.

Another Karkat fun fact: he was an affectionate morning person.

The Cancer's face bumped into John's clumsily. The troll furrowed his brows and made a confused and pained, “Mmr...?” noise. John giggled and pecked him lightly. Sleepy Karkat kisses were The Best Thing. They were clumsy and chaste and brief, but so, so sweet. They made John feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

It was hard to tear himself away from the loving half-asleep troll, but the heat persisted. John gave the troll one last peck before rising, his resolve almost melting at the little disappointed whine Karkat released. Damn though, why did Karkat have to be so cute. It was just plain unreasonable.

John turned away so he wouldn't be swayed by those half open eyes watching him pleadingly, and focused on the matter at hand. It was hot, which meant John was sweating, which meant he was sticky and gross and it smelled _awful._ A cold shower would help some of these things, but still, he didn't want to return to a stifling, stinking room. Solution: open the windows! That would both clear and cool the air. John was the genius. It was him.

After opening all their bedroom's windows, and all the others in the house for good measure (he left the curtains closed over them though; the only person who really should see John in his underwear was Karkat, and vice versa), he set off to the restroom. John wrinkled his nose as he peeled off his soaked boxer-briefs. He would have to grab a new pair later.

Cold showers were hard, even on the days he need them. He must've spent at least five minutes hopping in and out of the freezing spray. Eventually he sucked it up and vigorously soaped himself down. Ah man, his crotch rocket was totally turtling, and he could probably stab someone with his nipples. Oh, well. At least he was cool now.

When John returned to their room a few minutes later, he found it considerably less smelly, and a bit colder too. Karkat had rolled onto his back, pulling the many blankets up over his head. The few dark hairs sticking out of the lump were ruffling in a slight breeze.

“Karkat?” John stage whispered, wondering if the troll had fallen asleep. Karkat lowered his blanket cocoon some to glare at John.

“You moronic nooklicking sparklefuck.” His voice was grumbly-growly, and muffled by the blankets. “What _ever_ possessed you to do that? Is it really so impossible to just let me sleep in peace? Has some other lumpsquirting doucheballoon tied you down and forced you to be the bane of my existence, or is that your own doing? Here I was, as happy as a crotchblistering clam in my slumber, and you just _had_ to go and fuck it up. What was once a peaceful period of rest has been thoroughly fucked sideways, complete with grubfisting and bulge chafing action. My poor sleep will never recover from this assault. It has been scarred. It has been traumatized. How fucking dare you, Egbert. This is just plain cruel.”

“Dude, what are you even talking about?” John raised an eyebrow, hardly sparing Karkat a glance as he dug through the underwear drawer.

“The window, John.” The Cancer sounded exasperated, like this was the most obvious thing in the world. “Before I was enjoying a lukewarm and silent sleep, but that has been thoroughly soiled. My auricular clots are being harassed by both the sounds of our shitlicking neighbors and birds who feel the need to assert their existence for some fucktarded reason alike. Not only that, a breeze is constantly hitting me too, getting all up and intimate with my form. In fact, I'm beginning to think this is your doing. No natural breeze could be so fucking annoying.”

“Well, that's just too bad for you, 'cause I'm not closing the windows. It's too hot for that.” John huffed and tugged on a fresh pair of boxers.

“They're disturbing my _sleep._ ”

John snorted. “So? It's morning anyway. Get up get up get up!”

“Like hell I will.”

John grinned deviously, eyes narrowing. “Oh, won't you?”

Karkat's eyes widened, catching on a moment too late. “No, fuck, wai--”

_Fwoosh_

A gust of wind hit Karkat suddenly, whipping all his blankets off and sending the troll toppling to the floor with a heavy thump.

If looks could kill, John would be melting into a steaming pile of flesh and pain from the glare Karkat was shooting him. Unfortunately for the troll, looks didn't have this power, and John just snickered cheekily at him. Narrowed red eyes met cocky blue ones. The eye contact lengthened into a staring contest.

Karkat blinked first. He full on _pouted_ as he looked away and muttered curses, grumpy and embarrassed. John's grin slowly widened at the sight.

“Wanna go have breakfast? I'll make pancakes~” He waggled his eyebrows invitingly as he extended a hand to the troll.

“Fuck yes I do.” Karkat took the offered appendage in spite of his being peeved. He didn't let go, even after he had stood up.

Another Karkat fact, one of the first John had learned actually: Karkat's hand was warm, and when intertwined with John's it fit perfectly.


End file.
